(From the UK-based Sunday Mail, 12 February 2006.)


12 Years of Carnage @ The Garage


by Billy Sloan


LEGENDARY Glasgow venue The Garage this month celebrates 12 years of music and mayhem. Here, Donald MacLeod  owner, friend of the stars and gig promoter, reveals his 12 maddest memories of The Garage's history.


In 1994, I was offered a secret performance by Prince, below. I was told not to inform the media and to leave his fee in cash in a plastic bag by the stage - of course I told newspapers, radio, everyone. We had all been warned not to call him Prince (this was during his Artist Formerly Known As... stage). So I walked up to him, looked him right in the eye and said: "Enjoy the gig, wee man?"


The band started playing Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport when Rolf was still in the dressing room with me-with his Jake The Peg extra leg attached. It took him ages to make it up the stairs with the leg -they had to extend the intro of the song by three minutes.


The Devil seems to be a nickname a lot of bands give me once they've had a night out with me. Queens Of The Stone Age, The Bravery, Fun Lovin' Criminals and Theuntilthe Bloodhound Gang are just a few acts who call me the Satanic nickname. It might have something to do with the Aftershock and Slippery Nipples I make them drink -and my rule that no-one goes to bed until I say so. THE DARKNESS Fans in England have reason to dislike me -The Darkness cancelled shows there because of me in 2003, after playing the Barras. I brought the band back to The Garage and Justin Hawkins, right, had such a good time he had to cancel a few shows - blaming throat nodules.


Despite being blind (and blind drunk) the legendary guitarist sneaked away from his after-party and found his way to the main hall, where he danced all night. Apparently he memorises the route in every venue he plays. ROGER TAYLOR The Queen star has terrible eyesight - so they had loads of lights along the stage so '" he could see where the edge was. But his tour manager forgot to tell him to come off ' the right side of the stage -he went left, falling right into the pinball machine.


I told singer Jez Coleman the club started at 11 - but he was too busy making a call to Oz to listen. He eventually got onstage and lit 10 huge candles which he handed to the crowd. Problem was, the ceiling was covered by a huge parachute - which we had been assured was fireproof. Once guys started handing candles to girls sitting on their shoulders, we fought through the capacity crowd and blew them out. Of course they just re-lit them again so it was worrying. Eventually we got the band off - 35 minutes late. And eventually I got a 300 bill for Jez's call!


Huey and the boys' show was sponsored by a mobile phone company. There were plenty of agency jobsworths about, being ineffective -until they learned Huey had hired strippers to perform with him. Moral uproar erupted. As I tried to calm the agency types, the strippers did their thing. Huey later disappeared with them during the after-party.


Many years ago, a stonemason's yard was behind the Garage. Some said the real Stone Of Destiny was hidden there, not whisked away to England by King Edward I.


During last year's show, I projected a message on the big screen saying anyone with a comment should call a number - which belonged to Mark Mackie of Regular Music. Mark was relaxing at home when his phone went mad with around 120 calls. Thank God Mark has a sense of humour.


I was right up for this There are video clips of me at the gig, jumping around like a madman. When they eventually came off stage, I was the one dripping sweat, with a towel round my neck and the look of someone who'd been going wild for days.


Sorry. Censored.